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The first thing you need to know about Jungle Jim’s in Fairfield, Ohio, is that it’s not a grocery store. I mean, technically I guess it is, and sure, you could get your TP and toothpaste there while you’re shopping in the Cincinnati suburb. But it’s a field trip starring fake giraffes and elephants, safari park monorail cars, and animatronics like a Cereal Band made up of General Mills cereal mascots — not to mention foodstuffs ranging from the obscure to the ridiculous.

Unless I have four hours to explore I don’t even want to go in. This place is … over the top. And I mean that in the best possible way.

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