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No two Thanksgivings are the same. We may all celebrate with nearly identical menus, but family dynamics are different for everyone. And they’re, um, pretty interesting. So, I’ve decided to offer wine pairings based on some of the most awkward situations possible.

If you’re wondering why I’m not addressing the more traditional food-and-wine pairing aspect of Thanksgiving, there are two reasons. The first is that literally every wine writer in the United States has tackled this topic, sometimes annually. I think there’s some Magic Eight Ball out there for major wine publications that has a few different responses like, “Beaujolais,” “Obscure Sparkling Wine,” and “Tavel,” and writers just shake it and see what it says this year. Not because they’re hacks, but because it’s hard to come up with new wine pairing ideas for the same darn meal, every year.

The second reason is that no wine is really that great of a match with Thanksgiving dinner, because turkey is usually a little dry and easily overwhelmed by strongly flavored wine, and the rest of the table is a cacophony of different flavors, from sweet to earthy to rich. This makes for fun eating, but difficult wine pairing. You should serve whatever wine makes you feel celebratory and warm and fuzzy inside.

That said, these wines should help — no matter what you’re serving and what awkward situation you find yourself in.

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