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“Welcome to Krispy Kreme,” he said, his voice rumbling out of the drive-thru speaker. “How many dozen would you like today?”

The truth is, I wanted, like, a dozen dozen, but I’d decided not to chip away at my life expectancy this morning. OK, that’s a lie: I’m willing to sacrifice at least a few hours in my mid-to-late 80s so I can try Krispy Kreme’s new limited-edition Reese’s Outrageous donut.

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